The best things leaders do (and it isn’t giving you a payrise): kindness and generosity

Recently, I was staying in a hotel in Sydney overnight in the middle of a week of intense, torrential, flooding rain. I was there to see a play with my daughter (we are very thankful for our incredible luck in being able to do such things here while COVID-19 is still wreaking such havoc all around the world and we do not take it for granted).

The damaging weather forced many changes of plan with everyone laying low and trying to minimise time outside or on the roads. Even dashing from a doorway to a car left us drenched. The play we were due to see was cancelled at very short notice due to flooding backstage. Transport and dining plans were being adapted and updated at short notice on an ongoing basis. None of it was scary or dangerous or a big drama – it just meant a lot of being on our toes and willing to adjust as things evolved. We ended up having a fantastic weekend, due in very large part to being on the receiving end of multiple large and small acts of generosity and kindness from other people.

As I sat down to write this post, I reflected on those acts of generosity and kindness in the context of leadership.

Over the past two weeks I have been writing about whether the bad leader in the room could be – gasp – you and our tendency to blame circumstances when we behave poorly.

This week, I’m thinking about the good leaders – what they said and did, and how many of those things we remember to do ourselves. Even, or especially, when we are under pressure and our focus may be elsewhere. When I ask people to list what their favourite leaders did that was so great, it’s always quite basic acts of kindness and generosity like:

  • Said hello in the mornings

  • Took an interest in me as a person

  • Challenged me but didn’t leave me out to dry

  • Didn’t hog the good work

  • Didn’t blame me for their mistakes

  • Didn’t take credit for my ideas

  • Generous in their sharing of the glory

  • Took pleasure in seeing me shine

  • Listened to me

  • Understood when I was learning and helped me to learn

  • Expected high standards but didn’t expect perfection

  • Thanked me for a job well done

Comment with some of your own!

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These relatively simple, inexpensive acts are so powerful because they are respectful of the person as a fully fledged human in their own right – rather than treating them as more resource than human.

You might notice that most of these are easy to do, if only we remember. The lists rarely include things like payrises and hefty bonuses (although those are nice too!). Most of us think that we, as leaders, do most of the things on that list but if I were to ask your team how many of them you do when you’re under pressure, what would they say?

As a leader, you have come through an incredibly challenging experience over this past 12 months. As a human, it’s understandable that you may have battened down the hatches and focused on tasks or dollars over people. Remember, though, that your team doesn’t see it that way – you think “difficult time; I’ll get back to normal soon”, your team thinks “bad leader”.

If you’re honest, have you dropped a few of those things on the “good leader” list and if so, can you start them up again… today?

Until next time, take care of yourself and others,

Madeleine

PS Are you a lawyer whose Sunday is ruined because tomorrow is Monday? If you are (or if you know a lawyer like that), and you’d prefer your R&R time actually to be restful and relaxing, Thriving as a Lawyer is a private one:one program to help you achieve just that. It’s now open for applications. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit.

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Madeleine Shaw