What happens when you love your fear?

Today I want to talk with you about loving the part of you that is fearful.

A dichotomy that comes up a lot in us humans is a division between fear and love. We tend to operate along these two lines.

Even the famed Abraham Maslow (of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) talks about this. He says that in every moment you can either step forward into love,  towards growth and taking a risk and trying something new, or you can step backwards into safety.

Of course, there's times when stepping back into safety is absolutely what's needed, but if that's all you do, says Maslow, you never progress and develop.

And of course every time you step back into safety, you're actually two steps away from where you would have been if you'd stepped forward into growth.

This fear-love dichotomy is something that comes up a lot. We often think of fear and love as mutually exclusive: fear as the thing that's holding us back, and love as the thing that enables us to connect and grow.

Although that can be a very helpful construct to work with, it is just a construct.

You're not a dichotomy, you're an integrated human being.

This part of you that you think of as your fearful part actually has a positive intention for you. It's not just some random thing that appeared for no reason. The part of you that is fearful, that says, "Well hold on a minute, don't try that. Stay back here, stay small where it's safe," wants you to be safe. And it wants you to be safe because it wants you to be free from the harm that it fears may befall you if you step out of your safe little cocoon.

Instead of trying to tell that part, "No, don't be stupid, I've got to squash you down and go out there and take risks and be big in the world," a really interesting thing happens if you instead direct love and gratitude towards that fearful part.

If you allow yourself to love that part and thank it for being there and for trying to keep you safe, even that shift in mindset alone, while very subtle, can actually be extraordinarily powerful.

It can open up a real softness and openness around that fearful part.

What you just might find is that it loosens its grip just a little bit and allows you to come a bit closer to integrating those two parts together so that they can work as one. So, next time you notice yourself being annoyed or irritated by your fear, instead direct love and gratitude towards it and see what happens.

If you’d like to know how I can help you face your fear, click here to book directly into my schedule and let’s talk.