Not getting buy-in at work? Try this
As you become more senior, success at work becomes less about completing tasks and more about influencing other people.
That can feel difficult for people such as lawyers whose technical expertise has propelled them thus far. Bringing people along requires more than an elegantly drafted contract. So what to do?
Lately, I’ve been coming back to the classic negotiation text, Getting to Yes. It was first published in 1981 and has been in print, with some updates, ever since. That’s because its core model is so powerful and effective.
In essence, it’s about looking for interests, not positions.
Interests are different from positions. Jo and Lindsay might both say they want an extra $5,000 salary. They have the same position: they want $5,000.
Jo may want it because it’s really important to them to be recognised as much as their colleagues, and that bump would get them there. Lindsay may want it because their kids’ sports costs have soared and this would cover it. They have different interests but are expressing a desire for the same position as a way to meet those goals.
If you’re the head of HR with no budget to offer salary raises, that’s important to know.
Maybe you could meet Jo’s needs by offering a title change or some other signifier that would help them to feel as recognised as their colleagues. Perhaps Lindsay would be delighted with vouchers that you can acquire at lower cost to cover the sports expenses.
If it’s possible to meet someone’s needs, then you have a deal. If you can’t meet their needs, any “deal” won’t stick. Jo and Lindsay should only be agreeing to things that genuinely meet their needs – but if they are flexible on the positions that will get them there, they are more likely to come away with a good deal. Walking in and demanding $5,000 or nothing, when in reality the budget isn’t there, would be unlikely to end well.
That’s negotiation. How does it apply to influence?
So often, I see people try to convince someone else to jump on board with a plan by talking only about how it meets their own needs and why it’s important to them.
If someone isn’t getting on board, it’s because your position isn’t meeting their needs in some way.
Instead, think about what is driving the person you are seeking to influence. What is important to them? What are they trying to achieve? What matters to them and what doesn’t? These are their interests.
Equally, what really matters to you? What outcomes are you seeking and, critically, why? Are there other positions (options) that would give you what you need, but might better meet the needs of the other person?
Then, when you talk to them about it, do it in terms of what matters to the other person.
This is not Machiavellian manipulation. You apply this ethically – genuinely proposing a path that meets both sets of interests as well as possible. You are simply more likely to achieve buy-in when you help the other person to see how your proposal achieves things that matter to them.
Until next week,
Take care of yourself and others
Madeleine
PS. Want to work with me as you build your influence at work? Let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit.
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