On closing the knowing/doing gap

I’ve been writing these notes each week since January 2020 (and less regularly before that). My first post referring to covid was on 26 March last year. In that post, I crowd-sourced tips and tricks for managing lockdown, home schooling, uncertainty and all the rest of the pandemic soup with which we’ve all become very well acquainted.

We’re all familiar with the tips and tricks – and they do help. Establishing routines, getting outdoors, exercising, eating well (that includes baked goods, right?), being sure to stay connected with family and friends.

Sitting here at July 2021, once again in lockdown and dealing with home schooling, uncertainty and all the rest of the pandemic soup, I am thinking about the knowing/doing gap.

No-one needs me to tell them eating lots of vegetables is good for them. But not everyone always eats masses of vegetables (including, over the past few weeks, me – see above re baked goods).

It’s a funny quirk of our human nature that being told all the “good advice” can actually be counterproductive when you’re in a vulnerable spot. You already know what you “should” be doing. The (at times) painful part is the gap.

Closing that gap means finding an artful, compassionate balance between driving to do all the “right” things and allowing the part of you that is resisting them to be heard.

Unrelenting 100% force on the “should” list leads to burnout. The other extreme is also not helpful. Somewhere in there is what’s right for you. How to know where that point is? Not through blaming yourself or others, black and white thinking, or comparison. Cultivating self-awareness, self-compassion and an ability to be with nuance and contradiction helps.

Rather than thinking “I’m at A, I need to get to B over there, and I need to find the best way to get there”,

… it’s more like “I’m at A, I need to get …somewhere, and I’ll take small steps in what might be the right direction, iterating as I learn.”

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

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