Should you run from the “tiger”? Ask your truest voice

For survival, humans are wired to avoid threats and pain. And we’re wired to prioritise immediate threats over distant ones. Which makes sense. If it’s a choice between fleeing a fast approaching tiger, thereby leaving some food behind and being hungry later, or avoiding later hunger by hanging around for a nice meal as the tiger runs towards you… clearly, it’s an easy choice.

But the same thing can happen on a day to day basis in ways which are less helpful.

Imagine it’s a Friday. You want to finish work on time for family dinner, or to catch up with a friend, or to get out for a run … and just as you’re getting ready to wrap up for the day something urgent lands in your inbox. The immediate threat of incurring the wrath of your client/boss overrides the more distant threat of how you might feel after months or years of missing time with your family, or losing connection with friends, or losing your health.

We are not good at doing that calculus well in that moment.

The more distant harm feels contingent. We think we’ll make amends. But if we make that same calculation over and over, eventually that far distant threat is right here, and it’s large, and complex, and difficult or perhaps impossible to untangle.

But we can change the balance of the equation. With a strong connection to your truest voice (/true north/inner voice/moral compass/deepest values), the drive to be with your family or whatever it might be carries more weight. It’s easier to see the impact of your choice now on what really matters to you.

Your true north would prioritise fleeing the tiger over eating those berries, of course. You need to be safe enough – but when “safe” means you’re repeatedly prioritising other people’s priorities over doing the things you need to do to thrive, you have an issue.

When you are strongly connected to your deepest values, the calculus is different and staring down the “tiger” is easier. You may still attend to the piece of work that’s suddenly landed. Or you may not. But you’ll be calmer, better able to weigh up your options and make a decision on the basis of what’s right in the broader context, not just a very narrow horizon.

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

I work with clients from executive leadership teams to the front line, helping them to make clearer decisions about what they want, and adapt faster and more easily to change and transition. I use deep purpose as a key to unlock powerful thriving in work and life.

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