Over the years I’ve been coaching, many clients have been facing decisions around making a career change. Often, they are struggling with the unknown and finding it difficult to decide what kind of role they are looking for.

Lately I've been thinking about "being cruel to be kind". I'm against it. Why not just be kind? That might (will) mean making decisions other people don't like, but that's very different from treating people with contempt and indifference.

When faced with significant change, do you continue operating as your authentic self, or flip completely to meet the new needs? Here are my tips for expanding what is authentic and sustainable for you.

Change management has historically been about helping people, teams and organisations get through a change. The big assumption is that there’s an “other side”, when the job is done and the change is complete. I hear a lot of people talking about getting through 2020, on the assumption that somehow in 2021 things will get back to “normal”. Maybe they will. I’m not counting on it.

Traditionally, preparing for retirement has been all about finances, with the emotional, relational and psychological aspects left ignored. However, some organisations, particularly professional services firms, are now beginning to “actively prime outgoing partners for life after the firm” through coaching.

How could positivity be toxic? It sounds like an oxymoron. Humans do better when we experience roughly 3 positive emotions for every 1 negative one. Most of us have plenty of negative emotions without needing actively to seek them out. Yet we often do cultivate them. That’s toxic negativity… what about healthy positivity? Healthy, authentic positivity allows room for the inevitable negativity we will all experience from time to time.

Contentment comes from appreciating what I have, rather than focusing on what I don’t. Gratitude for what we have is powerfully good for us. But if that means not striving for new experiences, growth, development, achievement – and yes, material things - well, that’s a turn-off.

I recently spoke with three separate people in very different roles and organisations, but each having work issues with some similar themes. Each person is finding significant challenge in their role. They are working extremely hard. Each is very highly skilled but having difficulty making an impact. And each is increasingly unhappy about it.

This week I wanted to share an article by financial planner Mark Cussen on the six stages of retirement. He says that those who “have given serious time and thought to what they will do after they retire will generally experience a smoother transition than those who haven't”.

If your house burns down, it is perfectly natural for you to feel a range of strong, difficult emotions. If you make yourself “wrong” for having these reactions, you are adding more difficulty to the pile. Emotional intelligence is about being able to accept and work with our emotions effectively, not about being sunny no matter what.

When you envision the road ahead, what do you see? Our mind’s eye can offer valuable clues to what’s going on for us. The metaphors it offers up aren’t usually too mysterious.

When I turned 38, my dad said something funny. It got me thinking. Just like parents need to remind themselves that their kids are their own person, as fully alive, thoughtful and feeling as they were at the same age, many leaders know their staff are actually people, but on some level they relate to them as adjuncts, resources, less-than.

Why do we wait until ‘the perfect time’ to take a break, when really, we can take one at any time. All we need do is turn off devices, rest our bodies, spend time in nature or relax with family and friends.

Too many important sessions turn out to be a waste of everyone’s time. Here’s a few thoughts as to why, and what else is possible

So you don't want to meditate…

The science on the effectiveness of meditation is rock solid. But, I've worked with plenty of people who can't, or don't want to, sit down and meditate. No problem.

I have noticed something of a pattern in people I’ve worked with. When their work requires them to focus purely on facts, disregarding things like emotion, gut feel, and intuition, they can become quite unhappy (and unproductive) humans.

Most people intend to do a good job. Even the ones that are driving you crazy are unlikely to be doing it deliberately. You are more likely to be able to overcome an issue and maintain an effective relationship if you come at it from the perspective of assuming someone meant well when they did whatever they did.

“I made a conscious effort to avoid smartphone addiction somewhat before the pandemic, but since March, my phone has become another limb. While I use it for all of its intended purposes, I also scroll unnecessarily. I reach for it randomly, without awareness, and find myself staring at the screen looking for … what?”

This week I’ve been thinking about fear versus growth. We’ve had to take some pretty serious physical steps back into safety lately and I’ve been feeling like things had become smaller and more contained. In many ways, that’s true. And I’d been feeling that with each step back, growth was getting further away. On reflection, though, these steps into physical safety have actually taken courage.

I’m sure you could readily list the blind spots of multiple bosses you’ve worked for. It’s a little more uncomfortable to consider that your team could do the same thing about you.

To illuminate your leadership blind spots, you need to start with trust.