If you’re not your work, who are you?

Imagine two circles. One represents you, one represents your role at work.

How much overlap is healthy?

If the two are completely aligned, there is no “you” outside your work. This can provide a level of positive reward – you will be very focused on success at work because it will feel like survival, and this will drive you to achieve results… often to the point of serious overwork and burnout.

That’s clearly also risky, because you are not, in fact, your work. If your work disappeared, or threatened to, you would likely experience it as a loss, possibly even a potentially devastating loss of self.

Equally, if your circles are completely separate it can cause unhappiness. Time and energy spent at work, just to get money, may feel completely at odds with – or even damaging to - your true self and can lead to serious disengagement and - just as in the case of overlap, though for different reasons - burnout.

There’s no one right answer to the question “how much overlap is healthy” but here’s an exercise that can help you reflect on your current and preferred state of affairs.

1. Draw a circle for yourself, and then a second circle representing where your work currently sits in relation to your self circle.

2. Look at what you’ve drawn and consider:

• What do you notice?

• What feelings are coming up?

• What physical sensations are coming up? Perhaps tightening of the chest, relaxing of the shoulders, a speeding up or slowing down of your breathing?

• Do you feel the urge to move the circles closer? Further apart? Something else?

3. On a fresh sheet of paper, draw your ideal self and work circles.

4. Compare the two drawings. If you have moved the circles closer together, what does that mean for how you approach your work? If you have moved them further apart, what does the now-uncovered part of “you” represent? What is a useful insight you can take from this exercise?

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

PS I’m delighted to be offering an on-demand session on this topic as part of the Association of Corporate Counsel Australia’s annual conference (running online on Nov 8-9, 2021). I’ll be exploring the warning signs your identity might be too enmeshed with your work and what to do about it. If you are interested, take a look! They have an incredible program this year including Australian of the year Grace Tame. Can’t wait!

PPS If you’d like to work with me as you reflect on the health or otherwise of your relationship with work, let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit.

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