Out of control? How to reframe your relationship with time when the day runs amok
Do you ever feel like the day has a mind of its own, slipping out of your grasp and leaving you feeling frazzled and unproductive? Because I never have.
Kidding, of course! Probably all of us have experienced the frustration of lost control over our day.
But what if we shifted our perspective and realised that it's not about how we tame the day, but rather about how we relate to it?
We are often working with a (sub)conscious idea that “the day” is a living beast, some kind of enemy that requires control and subduing for us to achieve our goals.
What if we were to replace that with a different metaphor? Perhaps “the day” is an ocean, for example. Spacious, sometimes calm and inviting, sometimes turbulent. We can dive in when conditions are good, but avoid the surf or navigate in a different direction, or with a bigger boat, when the weather is bad.
Here are a few musings on how to reframe your relationship with time when the day runs amok:
Let Go of the Illusion of Control
We often have this illusion that we can control time if only we try hard enough or have the right tools. The truth is that time does its thing regardless of our plans and schedules. Instead of trying to wrestle control from the day, try letting go of the need for absolute control.
Embrace the fluidity of time and accept that not everything will go according to plan. It's okay to deviate from your schedule and adjust your expectations. Admittedly I find this easier said than done! Building plenty of buffers into my expectations for the day really helps.Cultivate a Mindful Approach
Rather than automatically racing after the next task or deadline, try cultivating a mindful approach to your day. When you find yourself stressed about the day running away, come back to each present moment as it arrives. Pay attention to your thoughts, emotions, and actions as you navigate through your day. This will help you become more aware of how you relate to time and allow you to make intentional choices. It feels more spacious and as a bonus side effect it might even help you get more done! Less haste, more speed?
Practice Self-Compassion
When the day goes off track, it's easy to beat yourself up or feel guilty for not being in control – forgetting that control is an illusion anyway. Instead, be kind to yourself and acknowledge that if you’re human, you have days that don't go as planned. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend.
Zone in on What Truly Matters
When you feel like the day is slipping away, take a moment to think about what truly matters to you. What are your priorities and values? Are you spending your time, right now, on things that align with those priorities? Let go of the non-essential tasks and distractions that may be stealing your time and energy. Instead, make an intentional choice about how you want to spend that moment. Regardless of how it may feel, the day is not controlling you, nor are you controlling it. It’s just there. You can choose your response to unfolding circumstances – so why not choose the things that matter?
By experimenting with the stories we tell ourselves about “the day”, we can open up new ways of navigating it smoothly. What works for you?
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