5 ways to keep your cool when someone is angry at you

Recently I wrote about how to set boundaries when your stakeholders won’t listen. Many people came back and asked me how to handle it when someone is very angry about it when you have to tell them “no”.

Sometimes pushing back can be particularly challenging when a stakeholder is angry and/or powerful. It requires a delicate balance between maintaining the relationship and respecting your own limits. So, let’s explore some strategies that you can use to push back effectively in these difficult situations so you can stay calm and composed to maintain control of the situation and find a solution that works for everyone.

One of the most effective ways to stay calm in the face of an angry response is to focus on your breathing. Take a few deep breaths before responding to the stakeholder, and try to maintain slow and steady breathing throughout the conversation. This can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and keep you grounded in the present moment.

Another useful technique is to practice active listening. When the stakeholder is speaking, listen carefully to their words and pay attention to their body language. Try to understand their perspective and show empathy for their concerns. By doing so, you can help to de-escalate the situation and find common ground.

It's also important to stay focused on the issue at hand. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into personal attacks or emotional arguments. Instead, keep the conversation focused on the specific request or issue that is being discussed.

In addition, try to maintain a positive and solution-focused mindset. Rather than dwelling on the problem, focus on finding a solution that works for everyone. Be open to creative solutions and willing to explore alternatives that may not have been considered before.

Finally, it can be helpful to take a break if necessary. If the situation becomes particularly heated or emotional, it may be useful to take a brief (or longer!) pause to collect your thoughts and emotions. This can help to prevent the conversation from spiraling out of control and allow you both to approach the situation with a clear head.

Let me know how you go!

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others,
Madeleine

PS If you’d like to work with me as you set up some effective boundaries in a challenging environment, let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit

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