How to say no at work without damaging the relationship

Written By Madeleine Shaw

Somewhere along the way, a lot of smart, thoughtful leaders start confusing emotional intelligence with saying yes to everyone – wanting to preserve relationships and keep people happy. That’s commendable, but in the process they end up overriding their own signals and capacity – and letting people down.

Here are five ways to say no or push back without harming the relationship – and maybe even strengthening it:

  • That’s something I’d love to be involved in, but I’m at capacity this week - can we come back to it next week?

  • I really appreciate the work you’ve put into this. I’m not sure it’s the right fit for where we’re heading, though - can we explore other angles?

  • This isn’t really my area of strength - happy to help you think through who might be better placed to take this one on.

  • I’m wondering how that might land with the wider team - have you had a chance to test the reaction yet?

  • I’d love to help. Could we look at what I could park, if this goes to the top of the list?

When you say no like that, you’re not being difficult or unhelpful. You’re being honest and respectful, and people tend to respond well to that.

It builds trust in a different way – slowly, quietly, and over time.

And it gives you just a bit more space to keep showing up, without losing yourself in the process.

What are some of your favourite ways to say no respectfully at work?

Until next week, take care of yourself and others

Madeleine

I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.

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Madeleine Shaw https://madeleineshaw.com.au
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Stop ticking other people’s boxes