Quieting your inner critic – dealing with imposter syndrome
Impostor syndrome is a feeling that many of us experience at some point in our lives. While there’s some valid debate about whether it’s a useful term, most of us are familiar with that nagging voice in the back of our heads that tells us we're not good enough, we don't belong, or that we're going to be found out as frauds. This feeling can be especially intense in high-pressure situations like starting a new job, giving a big presentation, or pursuing a new opportunity.
But the good news is, impostor syndrome can be eased. Here are a few tips that have helped me and might help you too:
Acknowledge and name your feelings. The first step to dealing with impostor syndrome is to recognise and admit to yourself that you're experiencing it. Give your feelings a name and validate them, instead of suppressing them or denying their existence.
Focus on your strengths and achievements. Instead of dwelling on your shortcomings or flaws, focus on your strengths and what you've accomplished so far. Keep a record of your achievements, big or small, and look back at it when you're feeling down. Particularly helpful when lying awake at 3 am.
Reframe negative thoughts. Try to reframe negative thoughts like "I don't belong here" or "I'm not good enough" into more positive, self-affirming statements like "I'm here because I have the skills and knowledge to succeed" or "I have worked hard to get where I am."
A restaurant critic who only ever slammed things wouldn’t be too successful – they also need to point out what is great. Critique yourself the same way.
Embrace the learning process. Most of us have a strong drive to try to avoid making mistakes – partly because we want to do a good job, but partly because we want to avoid being judged. That’s normal, but taken too far it can really get in the way.
Don't be too hard on yourself for making mistakes or for not knowing everything. Instead, see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Embrace the process and be open to new challenges.
Talk to someone (like a coach!) about your feelings. Sharing your experience with someone you trust can help you feel less alone and more understood. Plus, getting a different perspective from someone else can help you see things in a new light.
Impostor syndrome can be a real challenge to deal with, but it's not insurmountable. By using these tips and tricks, you can start to quiet that inner critic and build your confidence. And remember, you're not alone in feeling this way!
I hope you found this helpful and as always, feel free to share your own experiences and tips in the comments.
Until next week,
Take care of yourself and others
Madeleine
PS If you’d like help as you deal with imposter syndrome, let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit.
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