How to set boundaries when your stakeholders won’t listen

Recently I ran a workshop for in-house lawyers and was asked for tips on how to assert healthy boundaries and push back on work demands when your stakeholders refuse to hear it.

When setting or negotiating workloads and deadlines, it's important to be realistic about what is achievable given the available resources and time. Pushing yourself and your team to the point of burnout will end up delivering worse results than if you get on the front foot with more realistic expectations.

  • Some work can be done later

  • Some work might not need to be done at all

Saying no can be difficult, especially when those hearing it are used to getting what they want. Fear of judgement can cause us to promise to get the work done. However, we are bound by the laws of physics and there are finite limits to what you can do in a given time, so it's important to be assertive and communicate your limits.

Explain:

  • Why a request is not feasible, and

  • What alternatives are available.

Be respectful, but also be firm in your boundaries. It is actually ok to be a human who needs to eat, move and sleep, not just to work.

Setting boundaries

When stakeholders push back or express disappointment, it can trigger your flight, flight or fawn/freeze (give in) response but it's important to remain calm and professional. Try to understand their perspective and empathise with their concerns, but also be firm in your boundaries. Be open to finding creative solutions, such as outsourcing or delegating tasks, but be clear about what is and is not possible.

You should also test your own thinking. Don’t assume each and every incoming request is (a) important, (b) urgent, and (c) needing to be done to the highest possible standard.

Ask yourself: how good is good enough on this? If you quietly deliver it later, or in a less gold-plated manner, will anyone else even realise? So often, my clients experiment with this and are amazed at how much time they can free up without anyone else even noticing.

By communicating clearly and managing expectations – both of others and your own - you can reduce the likelihood of pushback and contribute to building a culture that values work-life balance and well-being.

Until next week,

Take care of yourself and others,
Madeleine

PS If you’d like help as you grapple with setting healthy boundaries at work, let me know. Send me a message to enquire, and please share with anyone you think may benefit

I help accomplished professionals untangle difficult career questions so they can thrive in work and life.

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Madeleine Shawleadership, mindset, authenticity, boundaries, Time Management, energy, productivity, performance